The individuals and companies exposed below will
include politicians, real estate peddlers, shysters, cacademics, rip-off writers,
rip-off publishers and bookshops, and other biodegradable protoplasm that interferes
with or has interfered with my life and work in serious ways. Most of them are so
despicable that someone has to expose them publicly and permanently,
as the featherbrained and quick-to-forget American media are not doing their job.
Freedom of Speech . . . Yeah, sure
In real life, Freedom of Speech does not exist. It is only an idealistic concept. If you say or write something that The Powers -- anywhere in the world -- find offensive, you'll get clobbered. Punishment ranges from relatively harmless ostracism and monetary fines to destructive prison and death. One example is the American cartoonist Larry Feign, who for years worked for the South China Morning Post in Hong Kong. His popular, high-quality cartoons and books attacking and ridiculing the Communist Chinese were his downfall. The newspaper fired him, afraid of the consequences once the Communists take over Hong Kong on July 1, 1997.
For the past 19 months, he has been unable to find work, shunned in Hong Kong and ignored by ignorant U.S. publishers. Larry was punished for exercising his Freedom of Speech by suffering great financial hardships, and he'll soon have to flee Hong Kong, to avoid brutal revenge by the Communists whom he lambasted for years. Larry has a dazzling prize-winning web site. Visit his clever The World of Lily Wong. Since firing its prize-winning cartoonist, the paper has lost enormous credibility in Asia and abroad and is mocked as the Pro-China Morning Post and Self-Censored Morning Post, from its acronym SCMP.
Update: Larry Feign and his family moved to England when the Commies took over Hong Kong but now are back in Hong Kong.
Our So-called Land of the Free
While in prison, I met many harmless, decent men whom the godlike -- actually satanic -- Feds treated as if they were vicious monsters. All served sentences ranging from one to eight years. Their bloodcurdling crimes: talking about stealing a saguaro cactus; passing on a phone number; pissing on Federal property; bringing one lizard back from Mexico; importing bird eggs from abroad; or having a 17-year-old girlfriend.
Add to these convicted criminals a 24-year-old Florida cartoonist named Mike Diana. On 25 March 1994, he was handcuffed and thrown in jail for three nights, two of them in a maximum security cell. His crime? Drawing wild cartoons. His comic books, Boiled Angel, are not for the squeamish, but it took a "jury of his peers" (the usual imbeciles) just 90 minutes to find him guilty on obscenity charges. Judge Fullerton sentenced Diana to three years probation and a $3,000 fine. The artist may not draw pictures that might be obscene. The case is still on appeal. (Forum: The Magazine of the Florida Humanities Council, Winter 1996-1997: 20-24. Thanks, Sandy B.)
Uncle Mal Ripped Off by SPY Magazine
On 3 December 1996, I sent the following letter to the "Letters Editor," with copies to John P. Colman (President & CEO), Owen J. Lipstein (Editor in Chief), Lance Gould (Executive Editor) and Christine C. Summer (Managing Editor):
49 E. 21st Street, 11th floor
New York, NY 10010
Your thieving contributor Michael D. Nauton is a scumbag. For your "Holiday Issue" 1996, p. 17, he stole a complete column of prison slang and definitions from my 1996 book, Hillary Clinton's Pen Pal: A Guide to Life and Lingo in Federal Prison. Nauton stole every entry, with slightly reworded definitions, for his "And for the Ladies," without crediting his source. That's despicable and unethical. I wonder from which publication he stole the terms for men's prisons.
I spent nearly 16 months in prison (for exposing and ridiculing a divorce-court judge), where I collected these terms. I am outraged at Nauton's brazen theft and Spy's lack of checking up on their plagiarizing writers. I request that this letter be printed in your next issue and that a reasonable payment be made for Spy's unauthorized use of my copyrighted material.
Their collective reply: 0. In other words, "Fuck you!" -- It's time to cancel my long-standing subscription.
Update: That magazine folded soon after. Tough titties, you bastards!
Ripped Off Again!
15 September 2000
To the Editor:
Today I received from England an old clipping from Loaded, presumably your publication. The undated pages (1998?) feature a "story" entitled "oi, twat! loaded's rough guide to the joys of the well-aimed curse and explicit rebuff" (pages 65-68) by Jon Wilde -- that thieving piece of shit.
He stole all the material from various publications, including my Maledicta journal, without crediting his sources. That is plagiarism of the foulest kind only unethical scumbags engage in. Specifically, that scumbag Jon Wilde stole the first six of the "Top Ten Insults from Around the World" (p. 67) verbatim from Maledicta. I know this as a fact, because I personally typeset these unusual Spanish, Iranian (Farsi), Japanese, and Catalan insults.
It is a disgrace when editors don't request that their contributors indicate their sources, and thus become partners of such repulsive plagiarism.
Whoever that thieving, unethical, and plagiarizing cunt Jon Wilde is, I hope his dick and balls will shrivel to the size of raisins and drop off next time he buggers an altar boy.
Dr. Reinhold Aman
Editor & Publisher
Maledicta: The International Journal of Verbal Aggression
Santa Rosa, CA 95402, USA
E-mail from the Thief:
Subject: Up yours, you sweaty twatfaced shit
Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2000 17:56:58 +0000
From: Jon Wilde <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
Re. plagiarism charge...
Never read your shit publication. I nicked all my stuff from somewhere else. But if you want to arrange a meeting to discuss further, I'll happily have your bollocks in a bun within the first thirty seconds. No messing.
Now fuck off and get a life, you hopeless fart-faced wanker.
20 September 2000
Hey, you Thieving Wilde Cunt:
Christ, after all the stuff you've stolen from anthologies of insults, this is the best you can come up with? That's a sure mark of a plagiarizer: too dull to create something original and effective.
"Up yours, you sweaty twatfaced shit" -- where did you steal this one from?
"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on" -- a boooring cliché. Typical of plagiarizers.
"Never read your shit publication. I nicked all my stuff from somewhere else." -- Thank you for admitting that you're a thief. Publishers will be happy to know that you're an unethical thieving cunt. So you stole from somewhere else? Care to name your sources, thief? Those would be either legal, authorized anthologies from Maledicta or else illegal compilation by other unethical thieves like you.
"Now fuck off and get a life" -- two more boooring clichés by a twat-brained thief. I caught you with your knickers down, you nasty nicker, and exposed your fat pimply arse.
"You hopeless fart-faced wanker" -- dull, dull, dull.
To make certain that other publishers in Britain and elsewhere know of your lacking ethics, you thieving cocksucker, I've put this exchange on my Web site ("Ripped Off Again!") at:
-- Reinhold Aman
More E-mail from the British Thief:
Note: Mr. Wilde's e-mail message is in bold and marked with >. My interspersed replies are in plain text.
> Subject: Re: Up yours
> Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 22:21:14 +0000
> From: Jon Wilde <email@example.com>
> To: "Reinhold (Rey) Aman" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
> Jon Wilde wrote:
> I'm bored with all this.
This is the standard lame excuse of weasels who got their ass kicked and dick stepped on. Trying to save face by sneaking back under your rock, little weasel?
> If you want to continue with it, then do so. But you will, I promise, regret it.
This is an undisguised threat, Mr. Wilde. I realize that you are not very bright, but I didn't think you were that stupid. Sending threats by e-mail is a federal crime in the USA (five years in prison and a fine of $250,000 for each count). Threatening someone by e-mail would also get you bumped off the Internet, if I were to file a complaint against you with your "demon.co" ISP.
> Feel free to give me your address.
P.O. Box 14123, Santa Rosa, CA 95402, USA. What's yours?
> So, if you do want to continue with your extremely childish behaviour,
It is "extremely childish" to expose and ridicule a foul plagiarist like you ("one who steals and uses the writings of another as his own," in case you're ignorant of that word's meaning)? You're not only a thief of material published in Maledicta by five of my authors but also a damn fool, Mr. Wilde.
I'll tell you what "extremely childish (and stupid) behaviour" is: your multiple threats. You sound like a self-important but impotent and wind-filled wounded toad with a stick up your arse. And I intend to keep twisting that knobby stick.
> then I'll know where to go to sort it out.
That's another serious threat.
> Believe me, I'm not to be fucked with.
Yet another threat. Keep digging your hole, you stupid plagiarizing weasel. Of course you're not to be fucked with, you delusional megalomaniac; you're to be played with, like a rat caught in a trap.
> You have been warned.
Cool. Another threat. Could you be more specific? Will you fly some English soccer hooligans over here to beat me up? Or send some slimebag shysters to harass me? In either case, you thieving windbag can't scare me. I've battled with much more powerful adversaries than little old you.
Oh, wait! I know: you'll write a really, really, really vicious story about me and my "shit publication." That's it. After all, you're the Jon Wilde, the dangerous and dreaded reviewer of films, books and music, the feared interviewer of artists who can make and break their careers. So that is where your hubris stems from, you thieving little windbag.
I suppose the editor of UK's men's magazine Loaded is already salivating at the thought of you, Jon Wilde -- the self-anointed powerful destroyer of all who don't suck up to you -- contributing a devastating story about that American editor who would not heed your ominous warnings and threats. (Just be sure to attribute whatever material you intend to steal this time.)
Loaded is ideal for you, because I have too many friends at The Guardian who'd tell you to bugger off, and your writing is not up to snuff to please the finicky editors at the Times Literary Supplement.
Even though you don't respect copyright (as in "Artspace, Summer 1999, UK/Japan. Copyright: Jon Wilde"), would you mind revealing the sources from which you stole the insults for your story in Loaded? Or do you lack all honesty and decency, little weasel?
I know every author who contributed and translated the insults you stole directly or indirectly from Maledicta, every volume those insults appeared in, every page and line. I can document my charges of your plagiarism precisely, so don't bother wasting your money on shysters.
> Best wishes,
I don't need your insincere "best wishes," you thieving windbag. Shove 'em.
-- Dr. Aman
E-mail from England
"Do you really want to know where Jon Wilde first began to steal insults... it was from me... [editor's name deleted]... whilst working in the offices of [name deleted] magazine... and listening to my very own insults, he first began to put them into his own writings....
I didn't mind the sad Welsh bastard nicking my stuff... as he had to get a sense of humour from fucking somewhere...."
Next Targets: Robson Books (London), who have owed me a big chunk of money since 1995 and who have never paid me one penny in royalties for my Talking Dirty anthology. This book is now peddled by Chrysalis Books (London), who also paid me nothing. Sodding bastards! -- Then there is the sleazy New York publisher Carroll & Graf, who bought the American rights, reprinted the book, and also paid me zero. Swine, wherever you look.
Hold on to Your MAL Publications -- They're Heirlooms!
In a few years, the Monitor may cost you $30 or $50, if recent experiences are any indication. By searching the Internet, I have discovered booksellers who try to peddle used copies of MAL publications at enormously inflated prices. There is a Toronto bookseller who asked U.S.$20 for a used copy of How Do They Do It?, which I sell new for $3. After I pointed this out to him, he lowered the price to $5.00 (list price). Good boy!
Then there is a Berkeley, Calif., bookseller who wants $35 for an old and used copy of my Bayrisch-österreichisches Schimpfwörterbuch, which I sell for $12.50 (latest hardbound edition).
The biggest markup I found is by another Berkeley bookseller, Moe's Books on Telegraph Avenue. That outfit is trying to peddle Mark Twain's Mammoth Cod for $50! I sent them the following e-mail note:
"I happened to find the above title in your www catalog. Nice rip-off job, Moe/Robert! $50 for a book bought from a dead friend's estate for a few bucks. As the publisher, I sell this title (new) for $10."
On 30 Nov. 96, a certain Robert, who answered my e-mail, got really snotty -- a typical reaction of someone caught with his pants down. My comments to his foul reply are in square brackets:
"Really. You can discover our buying/selling policies and the source of our stock just from a single catalog listing? Amazing." [Yes, I can, because I keep precise records, as requested by the book's editor, Gershon Legman. The copy is No. 798, which I sold to my friend Reno Tomatis on 28 February 1982 for $9.00. Reno was one of the best-read people I know, and he had a house crammed full of books. When he died two years ago, several used-book vultures descended on his treasures and offered his widow probably between 25¢ to $1.00 per book (including the Cod) -- the standard practice of such "Buy low, sell high" outfits.]
"And full of shit." [This is a non sequitur and incomplete sentence.]
"My, that's odd [that I sell the Cod for $10 to MAL members]. The copy we have is the limited first from 1976 and has a dust-jacket price of $25.00 -- leading to a couple of questions. Do you still sell that edition?" [Yes, a few moldy copies are left, and I never charged more than $15 for them.]
"Is your 'limited edition' just bullshit?" [No, because I'm not a greedy used-book peddler or a rip-off publisher. I printed 2,000 copies, but about 200 were spoiled, so there are about 1,800 in existence.]
"What exactly are YOUR ethics?" [Much higher than yours, Robert, and guaranteed impeccable. Someone who buys a book for probably 25¢ to $1.00 from a distraught widow and tries to peddle it for $50 has the nerve to question others about "ethics"? You wouldn't know ethics if it bit you on your little dick.]
"In closing, please take your nasty little invective and shove it where the sun don't shine." [Remember this, book buyers: Don't be a shmoe -- shun Robert & Moe!]
"Further e-mail from you will be deleted without being read. Robt." [Now you're getting nasty, Robt. This really hurts!]
Update (2002): See more examples of greedy book peddlers in "Updates 2" of 9 July 2002.
Update (2006): For the latest list of greedy swine see "Vultures".
Two Tough Mothers
On 14 February 1997, I sent the following letter to the editor of Wisconsin's The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, better known as The Milwaukee Urinal. Of course they didn't print it.
"In his budget address before the Legislature, Gov. Tommy "Tough-on-Crime" Thompson urged lawmakers on 12 February 1997 to abolish parole and mandatory release time and proposed 'a fundamental, top-to-bottom restructuring of our entire criminal justice system.'
Good news! But when restructuring, Tough Tommy should not forget to cleanse the entire legal system by dismissing or helping to disbar the incompetent and nasty judges, as well as the incompetent public defenders and lawyers, who are a major reason why many poor, harmless, innocent men and women end up in prison.
As long as the Legal Mutual Protection Society keeps those legal misfits in office, there can be no justice in Wisconsin."
Tough Tommy, a lawyer, apparently wants to outdo "America's toughest sheriff," the title Joe Arpaio bestowed upon himself. Arpaio is the Maricopa County Sheriff who near Phoenix (Arizona) runs one of the nastiest jails and who treats prisoners with pre-medieval, dehumanizing cruelty. Even legal eagles and politicians in Arizona are appalled by his nastiness, and the U.S. Injustice Department has opened a civil rights investigation (San Francisco Chronicle, 27 May 1996: D-1). In his ossified little skull, that hijo de puta imagines he's "America's toughest sheriff," but in every intelligent person's opinion, Arpaio is one of the biggest assholes alive.
I keep shaking my head about the widespread ignorance among today's (young) professors. Even though Maledicta has received enormous coverage worldwide during the past 20 years, in all media and ranging from the most learnèd publications to the tabloids, there are tens of thousands of professors in America alone who have never heard of our publication. I'm not talking about professors of engineering or astronomy but of individuals who make a good living as professors of English, folklore, foreign languages, linguistics, philology, psychology, sociology, and speech -- all academic fields closely related to the kind of material found in Maledicta.
Having endured six years in Cacademia, I'm well aware of how incredibly cheap most professors are (except those who subscribe to Maledicta): their "professional" libraries consist mainly of gratis examination copies shnorred from publishers' textbook sales staff. They don't buy important books or subscribe to essential journals in their fields; instead, they force their libraries to buy the publications. Some of them illegally photocopy complete volumes of Maledicta on their (free) department's copy machines; others force their libraries to pay for and order photocopies of individual articles from unsavory suppliers (more gripes about this some other time) at prices much higher than what such cheap-ass profs would have to spend if they bought the complete volume themselves!
But today's gripe is about ignorance. I have learned repeatedly from queries by professors who post messages on the Internet, or from their students, that these profs are totally ignorant of Maledicta and its more than 3,500 pages of language-related material. -- Following is a recent example. No need to embarrass this prof publicly, as she is just one of far too many:
"I have a student preparing a research paper on 'bad language': four-letter words that are generally not socially acceptable in 'polite company.' He is having trouble locating sources that analyze this language from a linguistic viewpoint. If anyone could lead us to sources on this topic, please send your response to (...)."
For ignorant professors like her I have some basic advice: Get your head out of your ass! For a start, use the Internet search engines, read your professional journals and the bibliographical sources in them, check Books in Print, Forthcoming Books, the Library of Congress National Union Catalog, international bibliographies, and standard handbooks in your field. If such basic research is too much strain on your brain, ask your reference librarian, who will hunt up the information for you. -- How can we expect our students to be more than second rate, if their teachers are at best third rate?