What is this publication?

Maledicta Monitor was essentially a mini-Maledicta -- lots of short goodies, but no long articles or glossaries. Nothing from M.M. was published in the Maledicta journal. The 8 typeset issues contain the equivalent of about 120 pages of double-spaced 8-1/2" by 11" typewritten pages. These issues will not be reprinted. Originally $16.00, now only $4.00 for complete set, plus postage. Such a deal. Get 'em while they last. Postage: USA = $1.00; Canada = $1.50; all other countries = $3.00. Note: there's no shipping charge if Maledicta Monitor is mailed with books.

Super-greedy Dutch used-book peddlers, such as Fokas Holthuis / Paulbooks, try to sell this set for 20 Euro, about $30!

Excerpts from

Maledicta Monitor



All words censored by gutless editors of "family newspapers"
are restored in the citations below.


Bald & Sassy
Songstress Sinéad O'Connor recently called Hollywood a "filthy, incredibly violent place full of sick people." (Parade Magazine, 16 Feb 92: 2)

British Scrubber
After Becky, 28, soon-to-be-divorced wife of the Marquess of Blandford, posed for a London society magazine in silk stockings and lacy underwear, her father-in-law, the Duke of Marlborough, called her a "filthy little scrubber" (=prostitute). (San Francisco Chronicle, 25 Jan 92: A11)

Pink Reds
According to U.S. Ambassador Robert Strauss, one of Boris Yeltsin's political opponents calls his supporters "those guys in the pink panties." (San José Mercury News, 17 Dec 91: 7B. Tom S.)

Obscenity, Pussy-Whipped Canadian Style
On 27 Feb 92, the Supreme Court of Canada unanimously redefined the "Obscenity" provision of the criminal code: Materials that subordinate, degrade or dehumanize women are "obscene." (The State, Columbia, S.C., 28 Feb 92: 14A. Brett B.)

Sexist Anti-Sexist
Stanford University neurosurgeon Frances Conley, who in 1991 resigned in a huff over sexism by fellow physicians (then returned), is not above sexism herself. When a young resident physician did not pay attention during surgery, Dr. Conley threatened to "kick the left one" [=his left testicle]. She defends the occasional use of her castrating threat: "Sometimes it takes sexism to fight sexism." (SFC, 25 Feb 92: A13)

Expensive Cop Talk
Former Livermore (Calif.) policewoman Sue Hatcher, 36, in 1990 sued her department for sexual harassment by male colleagues. One asked her, "Are you a spitter or a swallower?" When she got out of the patrol car, another asked her, "Can I sniff your car seat now?" When another policeman grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, she asked him what he was doing. "I want to watch your tits bounce." After 7-1/2 years of such cop talk, "virgin queen" Hatcher developed ulcers and collapsed. She won a $175,000 settlement and a lifetime monthly disability pay of $1,600. (San Francisco Examiner, 5 Jan 92: A11)

Roseanne Barr, Again
Comedienne Roseanne Barr didn't like Matt Roush's panning in USA Today of her husband's HBO Special. Excerpts from her letter to Roush: "You are a cocksucking pinhead, butt-rammer, fucking bitch. Fuck you, you smarmy little tight-assed prick." (Playboy, March 92: 117)

Mamma Mia!
René S. reports two popular curses from the Philippines: the Tagalog Putang ina mo! (lit., Your mother whore!), which is the equivalent of "Fuck you!" and the Visayan Bilat ka sa imong ina! (lit., You're the fuckhole of your mother!) meaning "You're an asshole!" --- Walter W. sent the worst Italian anti-mother insult I have heard: Se la strada sarà pavimentata con cazzi, la sua mamma camminerebbe con culo! * (If the street were paved with pricks, your mother would walk on her ass!) --- "Dad, what's that thing between mama's legs?" - "That's a vulva." - "Dad, then what's a cunt?" - "That's the rest of your mother." (Bruce R.)
* An Italian editor (V.T.) corrected this: Se la strada fosse pavimentata con i cazzi, tua madre camminerebbe col culo!

Abusive Movie Fans
The audience of the cult-classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show greet the characters Brad and Janet with a chorus of "Asshole!" and "Slut!" whenever they appear in the film. (Sal Piro's Creatures of the Night, 1990. Bob Th.)

Expletived Divorce Lawyers
New York matrimonial lawyer Alvin Ashley (né Altschiller), 57, stole more than $10 million from friends and mainly from other top divorce lawyers. Why? "Because it was so fucking easy," he replied. Many of the lawyer-victims don't hate him. Said one, "Alvin fucked us all, but I still like him." (SFC, "Sunday Punch," 5 Jan 92: 3)

An Honest Judge
West Virginia Supreme Court Justice Richard Neely advertised for a law clerk: "America's laziest and dumbest judge seeks a bright person to keep him from looking stupid." (San Francisco Examiner, 29 Dec 91: B3)

Up the African-American Creek
Gary Bledsoe, a lawyer and president of the Austin (Texas) NAACP, is waging war on derogatory placenames in Texas. He wants to replace some 28 geographical names such as "Nigger Creek," "Niggerhead Bluff" and "Dead Nigger Draw" with names honoring historical local blacks; for example, "Jack Johnson Creek" or "Dorie Miller Bluff." He's particularly upset that locals still use the decades-old "nigger names," even though they have been sanitized years ago to "Negro Creek" and "Negrohead Bluff." (Milwaukee Journal, 30 Sept 90: J1+10)

Is Your Ex-Wife in the Movies?
In his review of the recent movie Back Street Jane, Robert Howington informs us that Sheila Ivy Traister "does an awesome job of playing a psycho bitch from Hell." (Experiment in Words 2/6, Spring 91: 11)

New Terms


blackout
a restaurant or store taken over and controlled by a group of (young) Negroes [who leave without paying for the food or goods]. Used by restaurant managers. (SJMN, 24 Jan 92: 1B. Tom S.)

Cadillac Commie
one who hypocritically supports Communism and Marxism and mouthes their theories but who lives like a capitalist. Recent synonym for limousine liberal. (Jonathan W.) -- German equivalents: Salonkommunist and Salonbolschewik; from Salon "drawing-room, parlor." Such hypocritical types exist mainly in Cacademia.

crotch rocket
motorcycle, esp. dirt bike. (Mystery Science Theater 3000, 25 Jan 92)

dune coon
an Arab. Coined during the 1991 Gulf War. Variant of older sand nigger. (Alex Sch.) Correction: As Robert Smith informed me on 23 July 2005, dune coon is older than that. It appears in Dan Jenkin's novel Life Its Ownself (1984; paperback ed. 1985, p. 92).

gaydar
the mysterious ability of homosexual men and women to detect fellow homosexuals who may look, dress and act like heterosexuals. From gay + radar. (Bay Area Reporter, 12 Dec 91: 16. Tom S.)

gum gardening
to work as a dental hygienist. British. "It's back to 'gum gardening' in dental practice." (1991. Sue L., London)

pc*
a politically-correct asshole. The * represents an uptight, puckered anus. Plural pc**. Coined by R.A.

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